Recovery: The First Week

This is probably my longest post as I was recovering for a week and a lot has happened!

Day #1: Monday June 13
Surgery day (see previous blog).  I forgot to mention in the last post; last night after arriving home from Johns Hopkins, Dr. Della Santina made a personal house-call to see how things were going.  I thought this was really thoughtful of him!

Day #2: Tuesday, June 14
I didn’t really sleep very well last night.  I was hurting so badly all over, like body aching.  It must be the anesthesia.  It was so uncomfortable sleeping with that ear guard on, I just want to lay on my side. My head was hurting so badly, sometimes I felt like I was seeing stars float around my head.  I woke up a few times to go to the bathroom, but I couldn’t stand up on my own or walk at all.  Peter had to get up and help me.  The ringing in my ear was nonstop.  It got really loud at times and gave me a killer headache!  Mom woke me up  this morning around 8:00am to give me my antibiotic.  I was so thirsty! My mouth tasted awful, as if I had a mouthful of metal. I wasn’t ready to get up out of bed, so I fell back asleep.  I woke up a couple hours later and that was a good nap! I was feeling okay at this point, until I physically got out of bed. Mom asked if I wanted to take a shower, but what I really wanted was a bath. The bath felt good for my body! But I was still pretty dizzy.

Mom and Peter made breakfast for all of us.  I was having a headache the whole time as I was eating; the ringing is just nonstop!  I tried to get up and walk around, then rested most of the day on the couch and my bed.  I was taking my antibiotic every 8 hours, switching back and forth between tylenol and ibuprofen every 3-4 hours.  I tried to watch T.V. but it was too much stimulation for me. There were a few times throughout the day where I dropped something and I bent down to get it; or that I wanted to pour myself some water from the Brita pitcher in the fridge.  I got fussed at for it because I wasn’t allowed to bend over or pick up heavy objects (even though the Brita pitcher isn’t heavy, it felt heavy!).  I completely forget and had to really remind myself that it was okay to depend on others to do that stuff for me.  

Later that day, my headaches were getting worse, the room was spinning around for short periods of time.  I noticed that my neck was really stiff, and it hurt to turn left and right (almost like having a strep-throat).  I noticed on the discharge papers that we needed to contact the doctor right away if I was experience any neck stiffness.  We called Dr. Della Santina and told him our concerns.  He asked if I could lift my leg up to my chest, and my facial expression was like “what the heck?! How is this related to a stiff neck?!” It turns out that if you’re having a stiff neck, and your body is in pain when you lift your leg up to your chest, it could be symptoms of meningitis. He informed us to give my body another 24 hours to allow the anesthesia wear off; it is possible that I may have been pretty tense up during the operation.  Peter and my dad were supposed to go fishing, but Peter did not want leave my side.  Mom tried to get me to eat and drink more but I just wasn’t up to it.  I had to force myself to eat, but I ate a lot at dinner.  

I remember at one point, I had to sneeze. The nurses at the hospital told me that I had to sneeze with my mouth open; mom reminded me to do so.  I sneezed!  I made a mistake; although I did sneeze with my mouth open,  I pinched my nose shut.  I really shouldn’t have done this as the pressure made my ear hurt really bad. Towards the end of the day, I was starting to get antsy with the ear guard on my head.  I had to try not to scratch my ear and I really wanted that ear guard off.  I kept tugging it off my ear so there was no pressure on it.  It felt so good, but everyone kept fussing at me each time I did that.  The doctor and nurses said that I could take it off 48 hours after the surgery.  I was  hoping to take it off the next morning instead of that evening.  Every time I got up, my head began to hurt. I finally went to bed for the night.  

Day #3: Wednesday, June 15

Again, I didn’t sleep well throughout the night. I hated this. I hated not feeling so great, taking antibiotics, and not being able to sleep on my right side. I woke up again throughout the night to use the bathroom.  I still couldn’t get up and walk very well. That metal taste was in my mouth again.  I was wide awake around 6:30am.  The sun was up and shining through my window.  I love waking up to sunlight!  I felt a lot better that day, less body aches. But I was still sleepy, I fell back asleep and woke up after a couple of hours.  Mom saw me wake up and asked if I wanted to take off the ear guard.  I begged her yes and she took it off.   Oh my goodness! It felt so good!  I didn’t realize how much gauze was inside the ear guard.  We were told that it was possible I could bleed through the gauze pads, but there was hardly ANY blood on it.  

Peter told me last night that I couldn’t take it off in the morning because it wouldn’t have been 48 hours.  I really didn’t care and was happy mom helped me take it off. On the other hand, Peter was fussing at me! Oh well!  

The incision looked amazing!  Dr. Della Santina did a wonderful job! There really wasn’t any blood anywhere!  Now that the ear guard was off, my ear was feeling funny.  It was numb! It feels like novocain after dental work–you know that funny feeling in your face, it’s kind of like you can feel it but you can’t at the same time?  That’s how my ear felt. There was some bruising under the ear from the surgery but it really didn’t hurt at all! I rubbed my head where the magnet is and it was feeling pretty sore and tender.  I was trying to find a bump hoping to see if I could feel the magnet.  My head was still pretty swollen and I couldn’t find it.

This probably wasn’t a good time for Peter to joke around and say maybe the doctor looked into his pocket this morning, found the magnet and said “Oops! I was supposed to put this is Kayla’s head yesterday!”  So not funny, because I really did not like the idea of having to go back! I smacked him around for it.  Such a jokester.

I got up, with support again, to take a shower.  I was really excited about this because I really felt disgusting.  The hardest thing I faced taking a shower was washing my hair.  I got so dizzy from washing my hair that I felt really sick.  At the same time, I was really enjoying the water on me.  Now it was time to comb my hair.  This was really hard to do. I’m used to being able to wrap my hair up in a towel but I wasn’t able to do this today.  It took me a little longer than usual to comb out my hair and I had to use tangle tamer. Combing my hair on the right side was painful since that was the side I did had my surgery on. I got a little dizzy. We cleaned the incision with saline and hydrogen peroxide then put some antibiotic cream on it.

After eating breakfast…well, brunch, since it was already after 12:00pm, I was feeling a lot better. I was feeling like I could sit up and interact more.  Peter and my dad went fishing for a couple of hours.  Mom and I got to walk downstairs to the main lobby and check the mail. I thought I’d be okay going down the stairs, but I was wrong.  I took one look at the stairs and they were moving! I felt so sick.  Mom helped me walk down the stairs, I had my eyes closed part of the way, then just looked straight ahead instead of at the floor.  We walked back up after getting the mail and I started to feel okay.  Mom and I played Rumikub for awhile until I started getting another headache. This time I laid down on the couch and crashed.  I slept for about an hour or two, and I was having a good nap until I got woken up for another antibotic.  I fussed at my mom, I told her she was awful not knowing that I was in good sleep.  

Dad and Peter finally came back from fishing, and we all got to eat dinner together.  After eating dinner, we all got to play Rumikub for a couple of hours.  I was feeling pretty good at this time, but realized that I was really struggling to look over on my left side.  My skin around my right ear was feeling pretty tight.  Before I realized I needed to turn my whole body over towards the left, I kind of stretched the incision causing it to bleed just a little bit. We learned that the Tylenol was not helping me at all,  and within 30 minutes after taking ibuprofen, my headaches started to go away.  We decided to pitch the tylenol and stick with ibuprofen.  We ended our game close to midnight since I was tired and getting another headache.  We cleaned the incision again, put the ear guard back on (just to make sure I didn’t hurt my ear in my sleep) and took all the required medication before going to bed. I decided to take oxy tonight to help reduce the pain, hoping to get a good night of sleep.

Day #4: Thursday, June 14
Again, I was up multiple times throughout the night. I noticed the ringing was much worse during the night.  It increasingly got louder and more steady.  Sometimes it got so loud that it made my headache worse.  This was getting really annoying.  I also woke up around 6:30am.  I hate my internal clock; I don’t get it, when I know I have to get up early, it so hard to wake up. But when I know I get to sleep in, I wake up early. The body is so strange! I got up and took my antibiotic then.  As usual, I went back to bed and slept for a couple more hours.  I was noticing at this point that I get my best sleep when I fall back to bed after taking my morning antibiotic.

I was feeling better today.  I was noticing that not only did it hurt to yawn, sneeze, or have those mini burps, but it was hard to take a poop! It’s amazing how much this type of surgery affects your body. It hurts to add pressure to your ears.  Speaking of pressure, that’s all I was feeling in my ear.  I really needed to pop it.  Mom cleaned my incision this morning while Peter watched so he knew the drill for that evening after my parents left.  The incision was getting better each day and the bruising was starting to settle into my skin.  I got to take another shower, and it still made me dizzy when I washed my hair.  I was really hoping this will go away!

Peter decided to stay home from work today.  I was really happy about this as I didn’t want to be home by myself that evening.  I had a special lunch delivery today from my coworkers- Chinese food!  While I ate my lunch, I joined my dad and Peter on the couch to watch some T.V. Within a matter of minutes, Marla came by.  It was so nice to see her!  She has been a wonderful person, especially the past couple of months volunteering her time to interpret at my appointments and all.  I thanked her for her support before, during and after my surgery.  We got to talk about how I’ve been feeling the past few days. She said that she was really happy to hear my voice.  Sometimes, after a cochlear implant surgery, the patient’s voice can change.  Sometimes this happens after activation, so we’ll see what happens then!

Marla left to head back to work and my parents started packing up their things to head home.  Mom was becoming very emotional again as she didn’t want to leave me (for those who don’t know my mom, she gets teary-eyed every time we part ways! It’s rather sweet, though.)  She was reminding me of everything; to take my medication, take it easy, rest and relax, don’t drive until I’m ready to do so, call the doctor if I need anything, etc.  She is truly a wonderful mom.  Peter and I  decided to walk my parents out to their car, although I was hesitant at first of the stairs, since, like yesterday, they moved a lot.  I decided to walk out anyways to say our goodbyes. Peter helped me walk down the stairs.  This time, the stairs weren’t moving as much as they had been yesterday.   As soon as we walked outside, I got a headache, because it was so hot and bright.  This is the most I’ve walked in one setting since I got home from the hospital. We spent a few minutes outside chatting and making sure everything was good to go.  After we parted ways, Peter and I went back up to our apartment.  The minute we walked in, Peter started acting like a tough commander.  He stated that we had to go by his rules because mom and dad were gone; no more “Mr. Nice Guy.” He reminded me of what I couldn’t do and that I had to rely on him, then demanded me to rest on the couch.  What a goof ball!  I also realized at this point that Peter has been signing more with me.  I just cannot say how proud I am of him and his motivation in learning signs.  It helps so much when people are signing because depending on one ear is a lot more challenging than when I had both hearing aids on.  Apparently, it’s been harder to get my attention and I’m struggling more to localize sound.

We both basically lounged around and watched our show we’ve been binging on the past couple of weeks, Once Upon A Time. My headaches and dizziness were going away after I rested for awhile on the couch. As you can tell, I can only lay on my left side.  The body aches were coming back and my head was feeling tender and sore.  I begged Peter to massage my head where the magnet was; it felt so good.  After a while, I was becoming overstimulated with the T.V. and really wanted to go bed.  Peter had the opportunity to clean the incision behind my ear.  He made sure I was taking my medication and was documenting it on paper.  He has been a wonderful caretaker the past few days.  I guess he learned a lot from mom while she was here, since she’s a nurse and an expert at taking care of people! I decided to take oxy again tonight hoping to get a good night’s sleep.

Day 5, 6, 7, & 8: Friday, Saturday, Sunday, & Monday, June  17, 18 , 19, & 20

I have slowly been getting better the past couple of days.  I’m starting to sleep throughout the night, but the headaches and dizziness are still there.  My body still aches, but the good news is the stiffness in my neck is gone.  I’m still struggling to turn my head towards the left side and I’m having to turn my body. I’m having a lot of pain on the left side of my stomach.  I think it must be from all the medication I’m taking, or maybe because I really need to poop.  Either way, I know something is just not right.  I’m still having that metal taste in my mouth and realize it happens everytime I take my antibiotic. It doesn’t matter how much water I drink, or whatever I eat, the metal taste lasts for a couple of hours.  By the time it goes away, it’s time for another dose!  I’ll call the doctor Monday about this.  The incision gets better each and every day.  The bruising is slowly fading away.

I got to have some visitors on Friday and it was really nice to see them.  I have a chaise lounge couch in my living room. I was sitting in the corner, Peter was on one side and my friend, JQ, was on the other.  We were all signing and having a conversation.  When Peter and JQ were having a conversation, I caught myself turning my head left and right to follow their conversation, which was a bad idea.  I got another killer headache which ended our visit short. I realized that following conversations may be challenging, especially if I'm constantly turning my head left to right. Later this evening, one of Peter’s sisters, Maureen, came by to visit for awhile. We were sitting in the same seating arrangement as earlier, and right as Peter and Maureen started talking, I interrupted him to ask her to switch seats with Peter.  Now both Peter and Maureen were across from me, which made it easier to follow their conversation.

Saturday was the first day we got to get out of the apartment.  I wasn’t feeling comfortable driving yet, so Peter got to drive.  We needed to go to CVS and Chick-Fil-A for lunch.  I was feeling pretty good in the car.  I just wanted to wear my sunglasses, but I couldn’t  because they would be rubbing against the incision. Squinting, and trying to block the sunlight, gave me a small headache.  The drive itself was okay, but I was getting a little bit of motion sickness.  We decided to swing by the sporting goods store to look around.  I found myself slowing down, and my headache was getting worse. I started to lean against the shelves down the aisle and rub my head.  That was a sign that we needed to get going. It looked like it was hard on my body to be standing up and walking around for a long period of time.  The ride back home was a little nauseating.  I was happy to be home, but it was really nice to get out for a couple of hours.  My supervisor was incredibly nice enough to swing by and visit me.  I truly enjoyed seeing her and hearing about how things were going at work.  

I woke up Sunday feeling not so great.  I was feeling better from the surgery, but I was feeling achy and my stomach was just bothering me.  I decided to get up and cook breakfast.  This was the first time I was starting to feel back to my normal self.  As I was cooking breakfast, my body aches and stomach pain were going away–probably because I was distracting myself.  Peter had to go to work today, but I was feeling comfortable being home alone for a couple of hours.  My hometown friend, Erika, and her mom was driving back to Blacksburg from Pennsylvania.  They decided to stop by and see me on the way home.  It was wonderful, since I haven’t seen them since the Christmas holiday.  We all decided to go out to grab a late lunch and walk around World Market.  I was feeling pretty good about this.  In the two-hour frame we were out, my headache was tolerable, and wasn’t as bad as it had been yesterday.  I decided to tell myself that the ringing in the ear is something I was going to need to get used to until the activation day.  My body wasn’t hurting anymore and neither was my stomach.  It was really nice to be out and enjoying myself.  After we parted ways, I crashed and took a nap. Maybe I was a little tired.  That evening, I was feeling a lot better but not 100% okay going to work.  I wasn’t comfortable driving myself or doing a lot of work.  I had special permission to work from home the next day.  

Monday marked the first full week recovering from the surgery.  I looked back and saw that there was a lot happening during my first week recovering.  But, I was definitely getting better from the surgery, just still feeling like I was getting some side effects from the antibiotics. I really didn’t want to be using ice or the heating pad anymore on my body. I was having other bodily issues too.  I decided to go ahead and call the doctor at Johns Hopkins.  After finally getting through, I was told that I was having side effects from the antibiotic and that I needed to stop taking it.  I only had two pills left, so they were completely fine with this.  I was thrilled to be off the antibiotic because I was also getting fed up with the metal taste in my mouth.  

I was feeling motivated to do some work, clean around the apartment some, and cook for Peter and myself.  I was having a few headaches here and there, but they were only lasting for a short period of time. The ringing in the ear was still constantly annoying me. I caught up on all of my emails that I missed last week, and got to work on my end of the year requirements.  I was feeling pretty confident about getting out of my apartment the next day, for a couple of hours, for work.  I decided that Peter was going to be my chauffeur for work the rest of the week (this is the last week of school).  

That is basically my entire week in a detailed nutshell!  I had a good feeling that things were going to get better from this point on, and that I will be back to my normal self again.  

Below are some pictures of my incision during the first week of recovery. WARNING! Graphic pictures ahead!

Surgery Day

It has now been exactly a week after I've had my surgery.  I was feeling pretty loopy all week and now I'm able to sit down and write this.  

June 13 came around the corner very fast! A lot has happened over the past couple of weeks.  Peter and I went out of town to visit my family, then camping, and then he moved in with me!  For those who don’t know me, or haven’t met this boy, I’m in LOVE! I had a hotel booked in Baltimore for the night before the surgery.  My parents came up to stay for a few days.  Sunday morning, mom, dad, Peter and I packed our bags, loaded up the car and headed to Baltimore. We decided to spend our Sunday shopping, going to a brewery, and exploring the inner harbor in Baltimore.  I truly had a lot of fun and this was a great way to spend my last day using both hearing aids.

We woke up the next morning, got ready and checked out of the hotel. We arrived at the hospital just before 7:30am since the surgery was scheduled for 9:30am.  Marla, my interpreter/coworker/work-mom, was waiting for us in the lobby.  She volunteered her time to be my interpreter for the day.  When I went to check in, it turns out my surgery was postponed to 2pm! We were all thrown off! This meant we had to wait 5 hours before I could get admitted. My parents, Marla and Peter were feeling bad for me because I’m not allowed to eat or drink anything prior to the surgery. I felt bad for them having to wait 5 hours! But, everything worked out.  We all kept each other busy.  While we were waiting, we learned that Marla couldn’t interpret for me because she wasn’t on Johns Hopkins’ staff. Apparently, Johns Hopkins screens and hires all their  interpreters.  Now I was feeling bad that Marla drove all this way and she couldn’t even interpret.

12:30pm rolled around and my name was called.  Mom and I walked to the registration desk. They had an interpreter waiting for me. THANK GOODNESS! I was a little worried as they were telling me I would have to write back and forth with a paper and pencil. I wasn’t all about that! We completed the paperwork required for registration and I was taken in for prep.  I had to change out of my clothes into the hospital gown.  They hooked me up to the IV and double checked my paperwork.  A nurse marked my right ear since this was the ear that was getting implanted. Everyone kept coming in and asking me what my name and birthday was, the reason why I was there, etc. My poor mother was an emotional mess!  She was in tears and worrying about everything.  I had to comfort her. The anesthesiologist came in and discussed the anesthesia I would be using during surgery.  All of this took about two hours, and Peter got to wait with me all this time.  Mom, dad and Marla took turns coming in.  There was no way I was letting that boy go anywhere. The interpreter that I had left at exactly 2:00pm, but my surgery was postponed another half hour due to a prior surgery being delayed. Dr. Della Santina finally came in, and Marla got excited as she got to have an opportunity to interpret! Dr. Della Santina and I discussed the procedure to make sure the cochlear implant equipment was exactly what I ordered, that the right ear was getting implanted, etc. I had the opportunity to take a picture with him!  I was really excited about this.  

We waited a couple more minutes and the OR nurse finally came in to get me. I gave Peter my left hearing aid and a big hug.  I walked into the OR with the nurse in complete silence.  It was weird. I was overwhelmed with the operating room. There were so many people: Dr. Della Santina, the OR nurse, another nurse,  the anesthesiologist, an intern, and like 5 other people.  I was informed to lay down on the operating table.  I was so nervous!  I was choking up and trying to hold my tears. (I can’t even hold my tears in as I type this!) I was getting really scared. I kept thinking to myself that everything was going to be okay! I had to distract myself, so as I was being hooked up to the heart machine, I saw Dr. Della Santina was looking at me.  I decided to ask him a question, “How many cochlear implant surgeries have you done?” He scratched his chin and thought for a few seconds, pulled down his mask so I could read his lips, and said “I don’t know…probably over two hundred?” He continued to scratch his face and think. Basically the man has done a lot of implants! I wanted to ask him something else, but I got distracted by the OR nurse telling me that I was going to feel sleepy.

Next thing I know, I’m waking up in the recovery room. It was almost 6:00pm. I don’t know why, but everytime I wake up from anesthesia, I’m crying. There were two nurses near me, one was typing on the computer and another was filling out paper.  I slowly started falling back asleep, then waking up coughing. I had a breathing tube down my throat during the procedure. I drank up all the water that was in front of me and the nurse gave me graham crackers.  I don’t remember eating them all but apparently I ate them all fast.  I turned my head around and felt that there was something around my head.  I was wearing an ear guard to keep the ear safe.  I got out of bed with help from both nurses, and  into a chair.  Mom and Peter came in, and I got to put my hearing aid back in my left ear.  I was in and out with everything. There was a new interpreter sitting in front of me.  The nurse explained to us what needs to be done from this point on.  The nurse was explaining how I can’t lean over for a few days, pick anything up that’s over 10 pounds, or do strenuous activities.  Peter got my attention and said I have to rely on him.  The nurses added, “For ONE year! No dishes, no laundry, no cleaning for you!” I think Peter was about to get second thoughts here! I laughed.  I tried so hard to stay awake and listen to the nurse.  When we were done, I changed into my clothes and sat in a wheelchair.  I was wheeled out of the recovery room onto an elevator. How nauseating was this?! Ugh! I hated the elevator.  I felt so sick.  I was wheeled out of the outpatient center to the car where dad, mom and Marla were waiting. I climbed into the backseat and laid down on Peter’s lap while mom and dad were in the front seat.  I slept most of the way and eventually woke up as we were driving into Virginia.

We arrived home around 9pm.  I had to walk up to the second floor of my apartment, but I don’t really remember much of the walking.  I laid on the couch and begged for some chicken noodle soup and crackers. Mom gave me some crackers and I started eating a bunch of them. The soup was ready and I downed the soup.  I was starting to be fully awake, but dang, that headache was killing me. I knew I wasn’t feeling good.  I was rubbing my forehead and as I sat up, I threw up immediately into a bowl. I think I must have eaten those crackers and soup too fast!

I was ready to go back to sleep.  I took my antibiotic and went to bed.

Beginning my Cochlear Implant Journey

After taking the time to think things through, and discussing it  with Peter, family, friends and coworkers, I decided that I would get a cochlear implant on one ear. I called to make appointments for a cochlear implant evaluation at a couple of places.  February came around and my mom came to visit me.  I got to visit the cochlear implant center at the University of Virginia and Johns Hopkins.  I felt that Johns Hopkins was a better place for me to go  since it was closer to where I live and I felt comfortable with their staff.

University of Virginia Cochlear Implant Center: 

When we went to the University of Virginia Cochlear Implant center, we learned that there was a mistake made and that I did not have an appointment scheduled in their system.  They had to make some last minute changes and could only fit me in for a hearing test and a small consult with their ENT doctor.  We learned that the cochlear implant evaluation is as long as three-hours.  Mom was a little worried as my future appointment with Johns Hopkins was only an hour.  Being the wonderful advocate she is, she called Johns Hopkins to make sure everything was scheduled.  It turns out that I already had an cochlear implant consultation appointment scheduled with an audiologist but I also needed to got a CT scan done as well as an appointment with the ENT doctor in Baltimore at the Johns Hopkins Hospital. While we were waiting to be called back, mom went ahead and scheduled everything for me.  We wanted to get every completed while mom was visiting me for the week.

I was finally called back to do an un-aided hearing test and a tymponometry test to make sure everything was okay in the middle ear. Their testing booth was so big that mom, Peter and my “interpreter for the day”, Marla, got to all be inside the booth with me.  It was pretty hard apparently with other people in the room.  The audiologist put headphones on me and I had to stare at the floor so I didn’t get any signals from them when the sound was made.  After completing the hearing test, I was told that they could hear all those high frequency sounds.  Peter was telling me I should I have clicked the button multiple times just for the heck of it so that he didn’t have to hear those high beeps.  He said they were very loud and hurt his own ears. Funny thing is… I COULDN’T hear those sounds.  When the low frequency sounds were made, I was clicking the button constantly.  Those were the sounds they couldn’t hear, but I could!  We got the test results and were referred to the ENT department on a different floor.

I was called back to see the ENT doctor.  The ENT doctor was a little frustrated because he couldn’t make any recommendations without a full cochlear implant evaluation.  The reason why we couldn’t get booked in today was because there weren’t any time slots available for everything.  However, it all worked out because we still got to talk about the possibilities in getting a cochlear implant, what to expect, how the team works, and so on.  Luckily, mom brought my big, thick, 3 inch binder that has all of my audio testing since I was identified at 2 years old. The doctor was able to use some of these reports and shared that based on those reports, he COULD make a recommendation, but he really wanted updated testing.

Johns Hopkins Cochlear Implant Center:

The next day, I visited with the audiologist in Bethesda, Maryland to do the rest of the cochlear implant evaluation.  When arriving there, Dr. Cain was able to use my most recent audiogram and add additional testing that is required.  She took me into the testing booth where I sat in a chair, by myself this time!  We completed another tympanometry test.  Dr. Cain proceeded to do a specific test where I have to repeat different sentences.  I had to take out my right hearing aid and use my left ear only.  She gave me ten different sentences in different tones (male, female, and kid voices) that were projected from the speakers in the soundbooth.  I had to repeat the sentences the best I could, even if I could only repeat a word I may have heard.  After completing the first ten sentences, I had to take out my left hearing aid then put in my right hearing aid.  She gave me ten different sentences.  My mom said that she couldn’t watch me do this,  because it looked painful,  apparently.  I know that I was struggling really hard and trying my best to repeat what I could hear.  We went back to Dr. Cain’s office where she shared the testing results.  It turns out that I only successfully repeated one out of ten sentences with my left ear, and zero out of ten with my right ear.  

In conclusion, here’s what my audiogram looks like. Hopefully these two audiograms below help make it easier to understand the levels of hearing and what kinds of sounds are associated with each levels. It shows that I can only hear within the mild to severe range with my hearing aids.  Meaning, anything above the black line, I cannot hear or struggle to hear sounds. Anything below it, I’m able to understand the sounds. Without my hearing aids, you’ll see that I have a severe to profound hearing loss in both ears.  Again, anything above those lines, I cannot hear. Anything below it, I can probably hear them. I want to make it clear that just because I may be able to hear these sounds, I may not understand what the sounds are.  You'll see that the last two high frequencies, there are arrows coming out of the X and the O.  This is documented as "off the chart" which means, I have absolutely no recognition to high frequency sounds. 

Using my most recent audiogram and the test results, Dr. Cain was able to recommend me to the ENT doctor to complete the cochlear implant evaluation. We talked about the parts of the ear, how sound travels,  the audiogram and test results, the surgery process,  and therapy required after activation. She took out three demo kits of  Cochlear Implant brands to look  at and play with.  We explored the Cochlear, Med El, and Advanced Bionics cochlear implant products.  I was given a lot of information about the three different companies.  She also explained the timeline for the next couple of months.  She also explained that I would be able to hear within normal limits with a cochlear implant, which is a lot more than what I’m getting with my hearing aids alone. Lastly, she explained that once the surgery is completed, I will not be able to use my hearing aid again.  It is possible that the surgeon can preserve whatever hearing is left, but honestly, there’s really not much hearing left to preserve. 

A few days later, I had to get a CT scan done of my head.  This was a very quick procedure.  After completing my CT scan, my mom and I drove up to Baltimore, Maryland. I had to request an interpreter to be there for this appointment.  We met my interpreter and I’d like to call him “The Yoga Interpreter.”  I don’t know what the big idea was, but he was doing a bunch of yoga poses and stretches in the waiting room.  Can we say “awkward?”

There was so much paperwork I had to complete.  I was fortunate my mom was with me because there were a bunch of medical terms I was clueless about.  As I was completing the paperwork, the nurse came out to get me.  She was using sign language with me!  I was already impressed!  We went to our exam room where we waited for the ENT doctor to come in.  The doctor has an assistant and she came in to get everything started.  She looked into my balance system (which is located in the ear); this was weird for me.  She had me look directly at her nose while she shook my head to the left, then right, right again, then left. It was like a quick jerk.  After she did that, she said my balance seems normal! She asked me to stand up and put my feet together, cross my arms and close my eyes.  I did this and I wasn’t sure what was supposed to happen.  I opened my eyes and she said,  “Good! Now, put your right foot right in front of your left foot, cross your arms and close your eyes.” I was struggling to hold my balance and fell over as soon as I closed my eyes.  I then understood what she was doing.

Dr. Della Santina, the ENT doctor/surgeon, came in to discuss the results from the CT scan and continue with the evaluation.  Let me tell you something about this doctor-  he is a WONDERFUL doctor.  He came in with excellent manners, and sat down in front of me.  He looked at my mom and asked if she was hearing or deaf.  Mom stated that she’s hearing.  He explained that he would be sitting with his back facing her, not to ignore her, but because he needed to maintain eye contact with me since I’m the deaf patient.  My mom is used to this anyways, but this is the first time we’ve had someone explain their rationale as to why their back is facing them.

Anyways, Dr. Della Santina and I got to talking about my thoughts and reasons for a cochlear implant.  I shared with him my concerns and hopes from a cochlear implant.  He stated that based on my CT scan results, that my ossicles (3 bones in the ear), cochlea, and auditory nerve were in great condition and  “implantable.”   He explained the surgical procedure and the risks that may be involved with the surgery.  After answering all questions, the cochlear implant evaluation was done.  Even though I was leaning towards the idea of having one, I wanted to take all the information given to me and double check this was something I truly wanted to do.

Here’s the results from my CT scan:

As part of this process, I had to get a vaccine. Let me tell you, this nurse gave me a shot and it hurt so badly!  I should probably share the fact that I don’t handle needles very well. So everytime I get a shot or blood drawn, I’m a little excessively dramatic.  Apparently, I have to get a vaccine every 5 years if I get the cochlear implant.  Mom and I went home, sat down and talked things through.  We called my dad and brothers on Skype to explain everything.  I sat down with Peter and explained everything to him. I went to work the next day and saw a lot of my coworkers who are Educational Audiologists and Teachers for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing and talked to them.  I met up with some friends, or called them through FaceTime/Skype, and explained everything to them.  This gave me the chance to think and talk things through while I gathered opinions from everyone.  

I got to participate in varying sessions for each of the companies to learn more about their cochlear implant products.  Fortunately, I was able to join the audiologists I work with to some of these session and got points for it for my teaching license.  I met quite a few cochlear implant users, representatives and had the opportunity in asking them a lot of questions about the products.  I had a fun time researching and meeting new people.  I was able to determine that I wanted to go with Cochlear Americas. I'm already starting to feel involved with the Cochlear Americas family!

I can honestly say that there was just a small handful of people that weren’t thrilled with the idea of me getting an implant for personal reasons (including my own mother!), however I felt that I had a lot of support from everyone. I think my mom was just being a mother; nervous and thinking about the worse case scenario that could possibly happen during/after the surgery.  There was a lot to think about.  I had to think about the risks, the fact that this is irreversible, the extremely small chance that this may not work and so forth. But I was pretty optimistic.

After weeks and days went by, I decided to go ahead and have the surgery.  After figuring out a good plan and timeframe for this surgery, I called it in and the surgery was schedule for Monday, June 13.  I was already nervous but excited!

The BIG Decision

After living on my own for two years after graduate school, I have been influenced even more by the people around me, and experienced a couple of different situations, that helped me realize that I may need to consider getting a cochlear implant.

One day, I was working with a student focusing on learning the role of an audiologist.  When asking the student about their experience, they were unable to explain anything.  I tried pulling their experiences out of them by asking questions such as “remember when the doctor looked inside of your ears? Remember when you sat down with ear buds inside of your ears listening to different beeps?  Remember when they squirted stuff inside of your ears to make earmolds?”  My student responded back “that’s never happened to me before.” This was absolutely mind blowing considering I had their audiological reports and they were wearing their own personal amplification. Clearly, they’ve gone through this procedure.  I decided at that point that I wanted to develop a visual presentation for my students so they could see their own teacher going through the process of getting her hearing checked.  I worked alongside  an educational and a diagnostic audiologist in Fairfax County Public Schools and got my hearing tested.  

An audiologist is a doctor that looks into your ears and checks your hearing.  An educational audiologist  goes into the schools and monitors students’ hearing and amplification, and provides support in the classrooms regarding hearing loss. Here’s a couple of slides from my PowerPoint, “Ms. Price’s trip to the Audiologist” I created for my students.  

Anyways, I decided to go and get pictures taken of me getting my hearing test so I could share with my students.  While I was doing this, I realized that I hadn’t had an audiological evaluation in two years, and felt there had been some slight changes in my hearing.  I learned that I’ve never had any ability to hear high frequency sounds, and for that reason I never heard  car horns, bicycle bells, fire alarms or smoke detectors going off. I had a long talk with the audiologist about looking into the possibilities of getting a cochlear implant.  This was the first time I felt comfortable having this discussion.  In the past, I have been very reluctant to do have this conversation because it seemed that each time I went to get a hearing test, the ENT doctor or audiologist tried to convince me to get a cochlear implant.  I never felt that they accepted me or my hearing loss.  It was more my ENT doctor than my audiologist, but I felt pressured to get one.  I wasn’t ready for it.  I always thought I didn’t need it because I was doing just fine with my hearing aids.  However, I currently work and live in an area where there is more support with my decision making.  Back in my hometown, I felt pressured and it seemed that no one accepted the fact I had a hearing loss.  I was told that I needed to learn how to be in the hearing world, which made me feel that I had to change friends and my major in Deaf Education.  Being near the D.C. area, I feel like there’s more people here that support me. Most of my friends, family and coworkers tell me that if I get one, then that’s great.  If I don’t get one, then that’s great too!  They’re not going to treat  me any differently, or stop signing with me just because I use a cochlear implant.  I felt confident that even though there may be people in my life that are against my decision to get a cochlear implant, they seem to support my decision and leave it as that.  

In addition to that, I was working with a student who recently moved here from El Salvador, has microtia (a missing outer ear) and atresia [a missing ear canal]. As a result, she had very little language and couldn’t understand or respond to simple questions or have a basic conversation. We visited a supply closet that had a set of classroom  books.  While gathering some books for our reading session, my student looked around the room really confused.   I was unable to understand what was going on inside of her head.  A few minutes later, an instructional assistant came into the supply closet alerting us that there was a fire drill happening.  I immediately felt scared and left the building with the rest of the school.  I knew then that I was at risk for my own, and my students’, safety.   I kept thinking to myself, what if this were not a fire drill?  What if the instructional aid hadn’t come into the room to tell us what was happening?  I could have been in so much trouble,  considering the responsibilities involved with this job.  The schools do have flashing lights in the classroom and the halls as part of the ADA accommodations, but this was a tiny supply closet.

Another time, I was cooking dinner for Peter and I. We were at his apartment.  He comes into the apartment yelling for my attention, letting me know that the smoke detector was going off.  I promise you, I wasn’t burning our dinner!!!  I just learned that you really can’t be making steaks on a cast iron pan in an apartment with just a small vent and a fan.  I had no idea that the smoke detector was going off,  and I’m sure the neighbors heard it.  At my apartment, I have a special smoke detector where the light flashes instead.

There have been other scenarios that terrified me, such as not realizing cars or bicyclists were coming up from behind me, or not hearing other people trying to get my attention.  I’ve been in multiple situations in the parking lot just doing my own thing (errands, walking home, etc.) when people  angrily pass me saying,  “FINALLY you move out of my way! Can you hear the horn blowing at you?!”  After telling people that I was sorry because I didn’t hear them due to my hearing loss, they usually felt bad.  There were some that were just plain rude and didn’t care.  While walking on trails, I’m constantly having people pull me aside because someone is running or riding their bikes trying to pass me. Often times, they’re shouting “excuse me” or ringing their bells, and I just simply don’t hear them.   

I can simply imagine my Deaf friends reading this, and saying they’ve experience the same thing and is not enough to convince them for a cochlear implant (you know who you are!! hehehe) but please keep in mind that this is a personal decision for myself.

I accept everyone for who they are.  If they wear hearing aids or cochlear implants, that’s great.  If they don’t use any form of amplification, that’s great too! Whether they use spoken language, sign language or both, awesome!

Everything was just building up.  People were pointing out that I was missing out on these environmental sounds and it scared me.  I hated that I was stuck in the closet with my student who couldn’t tell me the fire alarm was going off.  I hated that I couldn’t tell the smoke detector was going off and I didn’t know until the instructional assistant happened to stop by.  I hated that people were getting snappy with me when I didn’t hear from them behind.  I understand that there may be people out there that aren’t aware of my hearing loss or they just don’t know anything about it.  As much as I advocate for myself in my community, it does become frustrating to continuously face these situations and educate people.  I love educating people about hearing loss in general, but it’s a constant battle inside of me when I’m thrown into these situations.  I know and understand that a cochlear implant is not going to fix everything, but it will help give me auditory access to things that I miss  and have never heard of before.  I will always be deaf.  I will always sign with my friends and still be involved within the Deaf community. I will still be me. While being thrown into these situations, feeling the support that I felt I never got before, and thinking things through, I decided that I wanted to investigate more about getting a cochlear implant. 

Life After High School

I graduated high school in 2008 with a strong GPA; I was in the top half of my graduating class. Before graduating, I got an early acceptance to Rochester Institute of Technology in New York.  I knew I wanted to go there to become a designer and to be involved within the deaf community there.  I had looked into Gallaudet University, but they didn’t offer a design program.  I wanted to become an interior designer.  While living in Rochester, I took several art classes and some classes under NTID: National Technical Institute for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing [yes…that is a mouthful!].  I started identifying and accepting myself as a deaf individual.  My sign language skills improved tremendously within the first month living there.  I had never felt so comfortable with my identity until this point.  I had a lot of friends that I could relate to on many levels and they accepted me for who I am.  

After completing my first quarter at RIT, I learned that I did not want to be a designer.  I discovered that I am more hands-on and wanted to be the one clipping out pictures and cutting up fabric swatches to design homes.  Everything had to be done on the computers.  I hated doing blueprints.  I hated that the computer wasn’t doing what I wanted it to do.  I really wanted to be able to put my hands through the computer screen and make it do what I wanted it to do.  That’s not the case.  I remember calling my parents through Skype and telling them that I didn’t want to be a designer.  I met with my academic advisor and she pulled up my Meyers-Briggs test results.  After looking through my results and having a long conversation, we came to a decision that I wanted to be a teacher of some sort. At that point, I faced a minor glitch being at RIT… they didn’t have a teaching program for undergrads, only at the Masters level.  Which meant I had to find something else to get my Bachelor’s degree in.  I decided that I wanted to complete the rest of my year there, and transfer to another college.  I took classes that we felt that would benefit me and the requirements for a Bachelor Degree in Education; such as psychology, sociology, Deaf studies, and other liberal arts courses.  

I moved back home with my parents after completing my first year in New York.  I decided to go to New River Community College, which was nearby, as I completed requirements for an Associates Degree. While there, I tried to figure out what kind of teacher I wanted to become and where I wanted to go to get my Bachelor’s degree.  

While attending to New River Community College, I worked as a caregiver for a family that had a child with bilateral cochlear implants and additional needs.  I also became a babysitter/tutor for another family with a child that had a bilateral hearing loss but needed some support in developing language skills. While working with these two families, I figured out that I wanted to be a Teacher for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing.  It makes sense, right?!  I finally decided that I wanted to attend Radford University. YES!!  This is the same university that I went to when I was young for speech and hearing therapy.  I have a very special bond with this university.  

While attending to Radford University, I became a member of an Honor Society for Education, Kappa Delta Pi. I also helped bring the American Sign Language club back to life as it was shut down for many years.  I was very involved with the ASL club, classes and the Deaf Education program.  We became “the talk” on campus.  The enrollment rate for the ASL club tripled in size by the end of the year.  We hosted our first annual Deaf Jam where we had members in the Deaf Education program, ASL Club, and those taking an ASL course to perform variety of songs.  To this day, they still host the Deaf Jam to provide entertainment for the Deaf Community.

As part of my requirements for the Deaf Education degree, I had to gain experiences working with Deaf/Hard of Hearing students.  I provided tutoring for elementary students, participating in assessment activities, completed my blocking experience in a self-contained pre-school classroom, itinerant services and student-teaching at the Virginia School for the Deaf and Blind.  As I remember Radford being challenging, it was truly the time of my life.  I loved being able to discover myself and figure out what I wanted to be.  My friends that I had there, were amazing, especially my ladies in my cohort.  There were eight of us in our cohort, which was the 2nd largest graduating class in the Deaf Education program.  Three of us (including me) had a hearing loss, but all three different experiences.  I think the greastest thing about this was bringing our experiences to the table to help all of us learn and understand that each Deaf/Hard of Hearing individual is unique in their own way (just like anyone else out there in the world).  This was an amazing message to share that not all Deaf and Hard of Hearing people are the same, we grew up using different modalities and learning experiences and so forth.  I feel that this is what helped shaped our cohort to become some of the best Deaf/Hard of Hearing educators today.  I’m truly proud of my cohort.

I was able to complete all the requirements for a Bachelor’s Degree in Deaf Education in three years.  I could have finished in two years, but I had so many transferred credits from Rochester Institute of Technology and New River Community College.  I did not want these credits to go to waste.  I was able to graduate from Radford University with a double minor in English and Art.  A few days before our college graduation, we had an award ceremony.  Unknowingly, I received two awards by the university: Outstanding Undergraduate Student for the Deaf Education program as well as the Overall Outstanding Student for the College of Education.  I graduated Radford University with Cum Laude.

After graduating Radford University, most of my friends landed positions as a Teacher for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing.  I wasn’t ready to apply for jobs.  I did not feel completely satisfied with my education at Radford and I craved more.  I applied and got accepted to Gallaudet University in Washington D.C. for their Advanced Studies: Deaf Education program.  This program is designed for  teachers for recent graduates of the Deaf/Hard of Hearing teacher preparation programs and experienced teachers the opportunity to acquire most in-depth knowledge in an area of their choice.  

While I attended Gallaudet University, I focused on how to enhance reading comprehension in Deaf/Hard of Hearing learners.  I was very intrigued with literacy and Deaf learners.  This was also an amazing opportunity to be involved with the Deaf world again.  I was going to my classes again without wearing my hearing aids considering all of my professors were teaching through American Sign Language.  I developed strong friendships with many ladies that I keep in touch to this day.  These ladies are both Deaf and hearing.  We were all very involved within the Deaf culture and constantly signing with one another.

As soon as I graduated from Gallaudet University, I landed a full time job as an itinerant teacher for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing in Fairfax County Public Schools. I am currently completing my second year teaching and am in love with my job.  I never thought I would be an itinerant teacher and thought I would have my own classroom.  I still hope to have my own classroom one day in the future but right now, I feel that I’m in the right place.  I grew up with itinerant services, and now I’m able to provide itinerant services.  Because of this, I have both perspectives.  I can intertwine my personal experiences with this job and help my students when needed.  I feel that the minute my student learns about my hearing loss, we have a great connection which makes our learning session fun.  I love being able to use what I’ve been taught with my current students now. I am constantly looking back at my personal experiences, good and bad and am just blessed to be where I am today!

Challenges and Success!

Before we get into the challenging stuff I faced while growing up with a hearing loss, I wanted to share how much I truly enjoyed going to school.  I was always excited when I had to do big projects, especially anything that included art.  I was a perfectionist!  My work had to be 100%. Call me OCD, but if I noticed a little mistake, it had to be fixed.  I wanted to be better than everyone, especially my dad.  I was really hard on myself. I loved being involved with academics and extracurricular activities, and being with my friends. I felt that I had great rapport with all of my teachers.  I have had some of the best friends, that I still keep in touch with to this day.  I like to shout out to some of these ladies:  Taylor (Walls) Carr, Whitney Weaver, Trista (Criner) Thompson, Faezeh Ghassemi, Amy Corbin, Stacy (Ludington) Snider, LaTasha Davis, Samantha (Jean) McClellan, and Erika Reid.  In spite of our busy lives, these ladies always hold a special place in my heart.  Regardless of the challenges I was facing, they were still there for me, and reminded me not to let my hearing loss get in the way of my accomplishments.  I always strived to do my hardest and to become the best of the best.  I always had excellent grades, passed state-wide testing, and many more.  Most of my teachers always recalled me as the happy, always smiling, blue-eyed girl.  They never once doubted me and always challenged me.  

I feel that we all have gone through challenges growing up.  In spite of the challenges I experienced, I never let it stopped me from growing and learning to become who I am today.  

Feeling accepted was a challenge I faced growing up. Keep in mind that I was often the only one with a hearing loss in my school.  There were a few times when there was another person in the same school as me with a hearing loss, but that was my younger brother, a transferred student, or my childhood best friend, Taylor, who is five years older than me.  I was in Kindergarten when Taylor and I were in the same elementary school. She was in fifth grade, soon to move into the middle school building the following year.  Then when I was in fourth grade, my younger brother, Josh,  started kindergarten (Remember I mentioned in the first blog that I had a brother with a hearing loss… this is him.) Josh and I were only in the same school for two years.  He had similar experience as me being the only one in his school with a hearing loss. In the middle of my fifth grade year, a student transferred in my class and we became really close.  His name was Justin.  We had some of the same classes,  until he moved after sixth grade; then I was all by myself again and this remained until I graduated high school. 

I think being the only one who was deaf in school was the biggest challenge I’ve ever faced.  However, that didn't stop me from making new friends! Sometimes, I catch  myself thinking what life would be like if I had been involved with more Deaf/Hard of Hearing individuals, in a self-contained classroom with other students like me,  or at a residential school. I know that my parents and Miss. Connie talked about the pros and cons of attending to Virginia School for the Deaf and Blind a few times.  Since I was able to communicate independently without an interpreter with my teachers and peers,  involved with school, extracurricular activities, succeeding in school, they felt that the best place for me was to stay in my neighborhood school.  I'm grateful and felt like they made the perfect decision.  It's times I wonder what it would be like if I was at a school like Virginia School for the Deaf and Blind, but I wouldn't change anything in my past because I may not be where I stand today. 

I know that my parents and Miss. Connie often tried to get people together as a little gathering for other students like me to meet each other.  I remember doing bowling events, swimming events, going out to eat, meeting up at the park, etc.  I remember there have been moments and endless conversations with my little brother about the things we struggle with due to  hearing loss.  We often find ourselves isolated in large family gatherings, or just sitting at the dinner table nodding and pretending to understand what’s going on. He may not be as involved within the Deaf community or accept his hearing loss the way I accept mine, but we  have each other’s backs. I’m truly fortunate to have this goober in my life.

Other than having my little brother around, I would have to say Taylor was my only go-to person and my best friend. She was the only one I could relate to until I moved to New York.  She was always there to listen to me and could to this day, I cannot go a day without thinking of her.  We have been through so much together.  It wasn’t until I went to New York when I started accepting my identity and felt 100% okay being deaf.  I found people my age with very similar experiences as me.  I developed amazing relationships with these people that are much stronger than my friends in high school (not dissing Taylor or any of my middle and high school ladies that I still keep in touch with these days).  I always had friends that could understand and “sympathize” with me when I became easily frustrated and wished that I weren’t deaf, but they never truly understood.  My friends that I met at RIT and Gallaudet are the ones that I truly connect with.

I often have to remind myself that everything happened for a reason.  I was very involved with the hearing world–I believe that I have the best of both worlds; I can switch back and forth.  Sometimes, I feel like I don’t belong in either world and that I’m just sitting on the fence.  Because I’m not completely and culturally Deaf, I’m not 100% in the Deaf World. However, I can sign and  I was very involved while I was at RIT and Gallaudet University.  I’m not hearing, but I can speak clearly enough that people usually forget the fact I have a hearing loss.

There was a time when a few classmates that made fun of me and my amplification devices.  I think I must have heard it all! (no pun intended!)

“Ohhh! Look at that deaf girl! She has those funny things in her ears.  Look at that stupid ugly box that is strapped onto her body.  The teachers have to use a microphone so she can hear better, that’s ridiculous! She can’t do anything because she can’t hear.  She can’t possibly understand anything.  Look at her hands flopping and flying around. Stay away from her because she’ll make you become deaf.”

I recently learned  that the teasing from my classmates was because they were jealous and were most likely going through some personal issues.  It turns out that one of them wanted to wear the same amplification devices I had as jewelry!!

Hey look!  There is Stacy (dark blue shirt), Ms. Ptak and Erika (middle; black shirt).  I mentioned their names at the beginning of this post.

I had some classmates that mocked sign language and talked to me like I was incompetent. Again, this was another time.  This was never really a constant battle growing up.  It wasn’t until middle and high school when cliques were developing and I felt like an outsider [I now understand that this is what almost everyone goes through during that time].  I had a couple of friends and they were my best friends.  They took the time to get to know me and learn how to sign in order to better our communication.  In fact, my interpreter I had in middle school, Mr. Thomas, was everyone’s pal.  We had a very tight relationship and I have to give him a lot of props for helping me inspire other students in my class to learn sign language. In high school, we had the opportunity in taking American Sign Language as a foreign language credit.  Those who took ASL classes were the ones I felt most comfortable with.  They were able to look beyond the fact that I had a hearing loss and get to know me.  During our ASL classes,  we learned not only the language itself, but we had the opportunity to learn about  Deaf culture and take trips to Gallaudet University and the Virginia School for the Deaf and Blind.

My hardest year in high school was my sophomore year.  There was a big fiasco with a bully or two or more (to be honest, I’m not even sure this situation was ever resolved…). I was on the cheerleading team (I was involved with sideline cheerleading and competition cheerleading from 8th grade until my senior year) and I never felt truly accepted on that team.  There were a few girls that I got along well with, but I guess we all know that cheerleaders can be a little catty.  For a couple of months, I was getting anonymous notes in my locker telling me that I didn’t belong on the cheerleading team because I wasn’t skinny enough, that I didn’t belong in that school because I was deaf, and so forth.  Honestly, I think this mainly targeted me being on the cheerleading team more than having a hearing loss. This didn’t settle well on my end as it began a downward spiral.  Then one day, it all stopped.  I have to thank the administration for taking care of this!  The beauty of this situation was the support I had throughout my junior year.  This was also the year that was a constant battle with multiple high school teachers that never looked at my IEP and abide the accommodations required for my success.  This was a big year for me as I learned how to stand up for myself.  I worked with several teachers in researching and learning about the ADA law, understanding my IEP and how it protects me, and how to advocate for myself.

I was very involved with things outside of school.  Not only I was involved with cheerleading and being an officer for the ASL club, I took up piano lessons and was involved with Girl Scouts.  Yes– you read that right.  Me, a deaf person, took up piano lessons. I know what you’re thinking… “But how?  You can’t hear those notes!” I took piano lessons for four years. I really enjoyed playing the piano.  My great grandmother purchased me a keyboard and I taught myself some basics.  I was the one that had stickers that label each keys with the sharps and flats along with it. I used simple piano books with each notes labeled. I taught myself how to play some simple songs. That’s when my parents enrolled me in private lessons. I think the hardest thing for me with the piano was keeping up with the tempo and rhythm.  I had to really teach myself to count the beats as I was playing the piano.  This helped me master the skill of being able to think about one thing and do other multiple things with both hands. The reason I stopped taking piano lessons was because I got involved with cheerleading and Girl Scouts.  

Speaking of Girl Scouts, I was VERY involved with it.  I started out as a Daisy and completed the Gold Award, which is the highest award you can get in Girl Scouts.  Looking back, I realized I never had an interpreter at my girl scout meetings, assemblies or camps. I’m not sure why we never looked into it, but I know I did okay with it because it was such a small group compared to a classroom setting.  As I got older, my troop became smaller.  I think there were only 4 of us left at the end that completed the Gold Award. I know my BIGGEST challenge with girl scouting was camping. First, just like almost any child, I hated being away from home.  As much as I loved being involved with the activities, such as swimming, enjoying the campfire, and spending time with some of my friends, I hated camp sometimes.  I never could wear my hearing aids in the pool, which made it hard for me and the other girls to communicate.  Luckily, I knew how to lipread, but that was something else I had to teach them- to make sure they got my attention and looked at me when they talked.  Most of the girls got used to it and knew.  As night time rolled in,  I always tried to find a way to go to bed early.  I knew I wasn’t going to understand the girls around me. I only knew the songs we were going to sing, but that was it.  I remember hearing all the girls chatting and giggling and I was always feeling the odd one out. In spite of these challenges, I still managed to have a good time.  I’m truly proud of myself for sticking with it and completing the highest award in Girl Scouts.

In a nutshell, for the Gold Award, you have to do a project and give back to the community.  I worked with one of my girl scout leaders, and because I had to pick someone else to be the “advisor” for my project, I picked Connie Ritchie.  Working with her helped me decide to make big kits for those with sensory integration issues.  Working with Miss Connie, friends, and family members, we made 5 large kits that contained a variety of things.  These consisted of different textured bean bags, weighted blankets with various activities (tying, buttoning buttons, threading string, unsnapping buttons, velcro, zippers, etc.), kool aid playdough, containers of sand with little toys in them, and so forth.  These things help students get their brains to work in a certain way so they can focus on their academic needs in the classroom. After compiling all these into 5 separate kits, I donated it to the Special Education Program of Montgomery County.

All together, these challenges helped me discover who I truly am and helped me be happy with what I found.  I consider these challenges to be my success stories, and I share them with others, especially my current students.  That’s the beauty of my job as an itinerant teacher and working in the Deaf/Hard of Hearing community.  Most of my students are the only ones in their classes,  or in their schools,  with a hearing loss. I love what I do and teach my students.  I not only focus on their academic needs, but I can relate to them in so many ways, because I was in their shoes growing up.  

It’s moments and thoughts like this that makes me truly blessed.